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Who wants to live forever?
A Doctor asks his patient, “Do you like to drink, smoke, and play around with women?”
“Yes,” replies the patient.
“You should abstain.” Says the Doc. “And do you like eat steak chips?”
“Yes,” says the patient.
“You should cut back and only do it with moderation,” says the doc.
“If I do all that will I live longer?” asks the patient.
“Nope,” replies the doc “but it’ll seem a lot longer.”
Made in Japan
A Japanese tourist hails a taxi at Heathrow Airport London and asks to be taken across London to the city.
On the way the tourist sees a Toyota car and shouts, “Oh! TOYOTA! Made in Japan. Very fast.”
Next he sees a Nissan car and shouts, “Oh! NISSAN! Made in Japan. Very fast.”
Next he sees a Mitsubishi car and shouts, “Oh! MITSUBISHI! Made in Japan. Very fast.”
Well the London cap driver is getting a little miffed that so many Japanese made cars are passing his 100% British London cab. So he finally gets to the city stops, he’s feeling glad that he’ll soon be seeing the back of the guy. He points at the meter and says, “That’ll be 100 pounds please mate.”
“100 pounds, but it was a very short a ride! Why so much?”
“Taxi Meter,” says the cabby, “Made in Japan. Very fast!”
Problem Solved?
A carpet installer was laying new living room carpeting in a large mansion. After laboriously pulling, stretching, and tacking the carpet, he finally finished, and gratefully sat back to enjoy a cigarette.
Read this humor about parents, children, fathers, mothers, raising kids, giving birth to babies, teaching the young, and much more.
Things Mom Would Never Say
Horse pulls the car
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
Relatives
A married couple have been driving in the country without speaking for half an hour, an earlier argument having led to the frosty atmosphere.
As they pass a field full of pigs, the husband sarcastically asks, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replies, “In-laws.”
It’s a short and very funny joke. Do you wonder to know 70 ways to keep your woman happy? Read this then 
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