funny santa banta jokes, Empty-handed

March 20th, 2010

Santa and Banta had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. “I got a wife and two kids and I`d love to have you visit us.”
Banta, “Great. Where do you live?”
Santa, “Here`s the address. And there`s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I`ll let you in.” “Good. But tell me…what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?”, asks Banta.
“Surely, you`re not coming empty-handed!”

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funny quotes, funny sayings

March 20th, 2010

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.  ~Fred Allen
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.  ~H.L. Mencken
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.  ~Author Unknown
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.  ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.  ~Author Unknown
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.  ~John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went

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funny god jokes, All In The Family

March 18th, 2010

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

funny jokes, funny naughty jokes, Private Secretary

March 17th, 2010

 
Police was investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 9th-story office.

funny dental jokes, Doctor’s Advice

March 12th, 2010

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor, “What happened?”

funny jokes, funny coversation, funny radio conversation!

March 11th, 2010

Actual radio conversation!

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

funny jokes, A Difficult Judgment

March 9th, 2010

In a small town, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to a Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

funny couple jokes, Anniversary !!

March 8th, 2010

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the dark, stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She got out of bed, cautiously went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She opened the door to the cellar and went down to the steps to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, crying.
She asked him, “What`s wrong with you?”
He replied, “Remember when your father caught us together, when you were 16? Remember he said I had a choice: I could either marry you, or be sent away to prison for the next 20 years.”
Baffled, she said, “Yes.”
The husband bawled, “I would have been released from prison today!

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funny couple jokes, Alarming Whistle

March 7th, 2010

Smith and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a secluded spot.

funny jokes, funny short jokes, Light bulb

March 1st, 2010

Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?

A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption,
dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.

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