A Crazy Person in the Woods

January 27th, 2012

Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?

A: They take the psycho path.

Yo Mama’s So Fat… Trip

January 27th, 2012

Yo mamma’s so fat, she tripped on 4th Avenue and landed on 12th.

Yo mama’s so ugly… kid

January 27th, 2012

Yo mama’s so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo Mama’s So Poor

January 26th, 2012

Yo mama’s so poor, a cockroach crawled across the floor and I stepped on it and she said, ”Now what do we do for supper?”

Siamese Twins

January 26th, 2012

Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
A: So the other one could drive.

Really funny jokes-Danny

January 25th, 2012


Blonde jokes-Exchange

January 25th, 2012


Really funny jokes-Athlete

January 24th, 2012


Signs You’re No Longer in College…

January 24th, 2012

– You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.

– Your potted plants stay alive.

– You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.

– Your friends’ hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.

– You attend parties that the police don’t raid.

– You’re not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.

– You refer to college students as “those kids.”

– You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.

– You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.

– At 6 a.m., you’re putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.

– Naps are no longer weekday options.

– Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.

– Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.

– You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.

IBM and Lightbulbs

January 23rd, 2012

How many IBM employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.